Monday, November 15, 2010

My job

So I called out sick two days last week because I couldn't get up the gumption to go into work.  The dread of having to act like I know what I'm doing was just too much.  See, I started a new project about a month ago.  Glorious, right?  I would no longer be bored, which if you read my post back in September (Mental Health Day) you would know I hate.  As with most consulting projects the direction on how to proceed has been unclear, but that was ok because it was something I was used to.  Management consulting isn't for everyone.  If you can't survive in an atmosphere where change is constant and direction is often vague then you will hate it.  Me, I love it.  I love the challenge.  I am good at making sense out of things that don't make sense (for the most part at least).  For some reason however, this project has been one that I haven't thrived in and instead am dying in.  A month into the project and the direction is still unclear.  Not a bad thing, but I'm also no closer to understanding the client than I was a month ago and that is a problem.  My project lead is more technical than I am and understands it better than I do which in turns only highlights my lack of understanding.  He and I talked this morning and before I could raise my concern that I am a fish out of water he tells me that he doesn't think I am a right fit for this project and that he's going to talk to my boss and see if I couldn't be put on a different project.  Most people would be upset or feel slighted.  Me, I was relieved.  It means I can stop pretending to know what the heck he is talking about and I can stop beating myself up for not getting it.  It just means I have another opportunity to succeed on another project.  (Secretly though, I think I will hate my next project too, but no point in putting the cart before the horse:)

Today was a good day.  I have a bit of hope.  Something I have been lacking lately. 


Single Mom 2b said...

I hope that works out for you! I wouldn't be good at management consulting.... I've done some consulting work over the years but prefer to really get in and become an expert at the end to end details of my product. There's NO shame in realizing the role is not the right fit and moving on to something that is a better fit. Hope this leads to better days!

Tiara said...

I agree with Single Mom takes a big person to admit they may not be suited to a project...I hope the next project is a better fit than you expect. Good luck.

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