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Thursday, September 2, 2010

My journey

Welcome to my blog.  My intent with this blog is to share my journey to motherhood.  How I will get there is anyones guess right now, but my hope is that I can use artificial insemination to get pregnant.  How did I get here?  In order to understand that I need to tell you a little bit about me....

I dated this one guy on and off for years hoping that it would lead to marriage.  Well, last year he did indeed get married, but it wasn't to me.  When it happened, I can say without shame, that my world fell apart.  I am just now getting my life back together.  Along the way came the realization that I am 39 and no closer to having the life I always dreamed about.  You know, the one with a husband and at least 2 kids.  I know that marriage and kids is no picnic, but not having them is no picnic either, especially when that's all you've ever dreamed of your whole life.  Skip to early July and a conversation I had with a friend.  We were at dinner and she jokingly suggested I use a sperm donor.  Who knew that one innocent comment could change the path I was currently on, certainly not me that's for sure.

The idea of not having to wait for Mr. Right and taking my future into my own hands really resonated with me.  I had considered adoption a few months previous, but never got much further than just a consideration.  There is something about having a baby growing inside of me, one who is a part of me that appeals to me.  So I did what I do best; I researched.  I did google searches on "donor insemination," "artificial insemination," "sperm bank," "IUI" you name it I researched it.  I found a lot of good stuff.  I felt prepared enough to talk to my OBGYN so I made an appointment.  Armed with a list of questions I spoke to my OBGYN who said I needed to talk to a fertility specialist since they don't perform any of the procedures in their office.  That was back in early August.  I made the appointment with the fertility specialist right away, but my appointment isn't until this coming Tuesday.  Once again I am armed with questions.  I fear the doctor is going to hate me for it, but I really need to know the facts before I make a decision about whether or not I should do this. At my age what are my chances? 

So, why a blog you ask?  Well, in my research I found some great blogs from women following my same path.  Some further along than others, but all interested in becoming a single mom by choice just like me.  Reading those blogs has been so encouraging.  It has shown me I'm not alone despite the fact that I have shared my desire with only a handful of people in my life.  I want to join the ranks of my fellow single mom by choice bloggers and share my experience in hopes of helping someone else.  I'm still in the thinking stage, but let's face it - I know in the end I will try because I don't want to live with the regret of knowing that I had a chance and I didn't take it.  Having said that, first I need to figure out if I can afford it, what all is involved with the process, and what are my chances.  I'm hoping that my appointment with the RE will shed some light on my questions.  Wish me luck.

4 comments:

hopefulcc said...

Welcome to the world of blogging and Congratulations on your decision to starting thinking/exploring your options! It's very empowering.
Thank you for your kind comments on my little blog. You are going to find an incredible amount of support from a group of women that share the same desire you do - to be a mother. For the first time, I did not feel alone.

Good Luck and I am really looking forward to following you on your journey!

Faith said...

I appreciate the encouragment hopefullcc and I look forward to sharing the experience with others. I have only told a select fews so it's nice to have another venue in which to share my thoughts about the whole thing.

Tiara said...

Welcome to The Journey, lol! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to pop over! I like to read new blogs from the start so I have background & I've finally made time to catch up on yours!

Very best of luck I I look forward to following along!

Chelsea Leis said...

Some people find it easier to make difficult decisions when they consult someone they trust. It may be someone from your immediate family, a close friend or your family doctor. Seeking expert opinion is also a good idea, especially if you want to explore all possible options that are available.

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